Newest Doll In Spain…

Appropriate or not? You decide…

Wing Sings Mama Mia

Holy fuck, almost started crying at “mama mia”

Portugal Trip 2009

So it’s weird that i’m leaving in two days for Portugal and it still doesnt even feel real to me yet. I cant really explain it, but i feel a lot different then any other trip i’ve ever been on. Im excited yet a little apprehensive almost and I cant explain why.  Hopefully once I get there that will all change and I can get on with enjoying life again.

It will be interesting if I’ll be able to swim in the ocean when I get there, due to the irrational fear i developed.  The reason being is the Ocean is so HUGE and unknown to me and all I can think of is something coming out from under me and chomping my legs off or swallowing me whole.

Something like this…

Or this…

Or even this…

Seriously, this all developed after playing this stupid endless ocean game on the wii, where you’re a scuba diver and swim in the ocean… Ya i dont know, im wierd i guess, but at least im still not scared of fish in lakes… Sean.

Maybe if I had my ocean allies with me it wouldn’t be as bad.

Like Sirus bubblefin my dolphin pal, or…

Angus sealshanks,  the legendary seal warrior and my ocean best friend.

Dont be Jealous.

Fucking Finally!!

23 large double double coffees later I finally fucking won… Another coffee…

Hairy Like Animal!!

You know you want to twirl your finger in it.

I feel like i need to say something, but words cannot describe.

Let the ego bashing begin.

Thanks Sean

Kanye West, Gay Fish

Queef Free

Lmao

Road warrior queef… lol genius

Children See Children Do

Just reminding people the importance of socialization…

Caught In A Shit Storm

So it finally happened people… It finally happened… As many as you know i’m quite a regular shitter. Doesn’t matter where I am or what time it is,  I try to shit at least 4 times a day.  Two to three of these times are usually at work. I know what you all must be thinking, and yes I do have the worlds cleanest colon… well maybe Elton John does actually, but he gets his cleaned regularly from what I hear.

Anyways here’s my story. It was a day like any other day at sobeys, 6:00 am, I’ve been working 3 hours already and having my 2nd cup of coffee.  Then a familiar feeling starts to emanate from a certain area in my body.  As I feel the pressure building I try to quell the feeling by letting out a few baby farts when no one is around, but soon the store starts to get busier and the baby farts become less stealth like and I know its time. Time to empty the torpedo bay.

Normally I make a direct root for the customer bathroom, but if thats busy i B line it to the employee bathroom upstairs.  Right as im about to see if its occupied big gay john comes flying out it and says, “oh hey Steve, dont forget to wash your hands!” I’m instantly and awkwardly put off and give him a fake “ha ha” as my response.  I should of took this as a warning sign, but it was already to late. Now normally i always double check to make sure the doors locked, but because of Johns gay retardedness it must have slipped my mind.

So as I’m sitting there dropping a crime dog, andmy worst fear finally comes true… the door opens and it’s the bakery delivery guy. And it gets worse. He must of had to shit really bad, because not only does he open the door but he’s already half way in and shutting the door before he even notices/hears me saying “hey hey!” So he awkwardly says sorry, and quickly departs.

Since im not a normal person and have no shame it didn’t really bother me, however, i now share an awkward glance with the bakery delivery guy every morning I see him. I hope you enjoyed my story.

The End

Damn you Viruses!!!

So i think I might be getting sick… which is REALLY not like me because my immune system is top notch. Seriously,  Im pretty sure my immune system has a mini force shield with several lasers to blast any intruding bugs or viruses, I also believe my immune system is the cure for many of todays illnesses… Kinda like Magic Johnson, but not black.  I’m almost positive i got it from someone at work because people have been dropping off like flies there.

Speaking dropping off like flies… *someone cue the music* HALLELUJAH !! HALLELUJAH!!  The douche bag in the bakery who was the most incompetent idiot of a manager ever, that everyone hated and should have got canned a LONG time ago has FINALLY got FIRED! Praise the Lord! Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus!  I think I almost started doing cartwheels when i found out.

I just hope im not sick enough by Saturday to not be able to go to the LOOSE YOUR MIND social.

Cinnamonamonamon Hearts

i just ate a huge handful of cinnamon hearts (courtesy of trista) and now my mouth is on fire and my teeth are stuck together pratically.   I actually dont really like cinnamon hearts that much, but the bag was sitting in front of me and m mouth kinda tasted like ass, so I thought….”what better to rid myself of this retched ass taste then to wash it out with some hard sticky cinnamon heart shaped candy”. And here we are.

My dad’s coming to pick me up in a few minutes here, he bought a truck camper for our road trip to alaska this summer and he needs my help to load it up.  Got for a pretty good deal to, $700 from a guy in Neepawa.  Making deals and cheapness runs in our blood, what can i say.

I got one class finished, and one to go… It blows giant chunks however because it goes into June. Shit… I think im supposed to start applying for placements right now… I should really look in to that.

Scottish Bar Stool

Because they wear Kilts

Black ME!!!!

Behold my black twin brother. Apparently he’s an american idol

And Life Goes On

So I got both jobs that i applied for!! Yaaaaaaay! But im still deciding on which one to choose. Hmmmmm Juveniles or disabilities…. I probably end up choosing the one that pays more. But ya, im pretty stoked, finally getting into a line of work that is actually somewhat close to my career goal of social worker.

Speaking of social work, I’m off to my 8 hour long class… (social work practice) Its not to bad, but just after 4 hours i loose all interest. The prof could have pictures of naked ladies on his slides and i wouldnt care.

How Long Will It Take???

So i’ve decided to start blogging again, but ive decided not to mention it and see how long before someone (in my close net of friends) finds out.  So what should i talk about in the mean time???? Hmmmmmm. Well lets see, work sucks balls (as usual), and  we are suppossed to be getting a new store manager starting monday due to the fact that our current one has gone off then deep end.

I have two interviews on thursday, which i’m pretty pumped for.  I haven’t decided whether i’ll take just one or both…. They’re both casual so its not like i’ll be forced into any shifts, but i hardly have a life now so i could imagine what it would be like with 3 jobs.

Well im off to game it up (Lord of the Rings: Conquest) Ohhhhh Yaaaa. Im suppossed to watch a movie with Sean tonight (man date) , but he hasnt replied to my last two texts and I hate calling his parents house so i’ll just leave it at that.